Seems like I need to spend more time with those close friends that I neglect. I really don't like the feeling of being abandoned. As much as I loves being all alone, I would also greatly treasure the precious moment we had as a groups or even a pair.
I kind of hate the elders for telling me about humanity. In chinese is called 人情。Elders always tell me don't 欠人家人情，要有来有往。I think this reasoning only JR, YJ n qian understand. I was also taught not to ask for repay. But still I was being treated as how I treated you. Out of kindness, I introduce you something, if nothing was repay back, I am absolutely fine, but what was returned back was criticisms and grumbles. My mum said that I am stupid enough to be so kind but what returned back was bad outcomes. Until now, I don't even dare to tell her the ugly truth to prevent her from badmouthing my friends again. No matter how hard I tried to save their image but I always end up with feeling my actions were not worth it.
I seriously don't want to help those unappreciative people anymore, it only demoralise me again and again.