I really don't know how to handle my emotion.

I really don't know how to handle rejection. I always try my best to go for the invitation that I was invited, seldom that I will cancel it if the date, time and location is set. Even if I want to cancel the invitation I would have gave a few days in advance notice. I tried many ways to keep myself in contact with my friends but who cares about friendship? I try my best to inform a few months in advance, I was rejected. A few weeks also rejected. In the end I tried last minute to keep the passion fire burning, I was still rejected. I really feel very lousy when my friends are so hard to invite.

I think family is really important. I really envy my friends with big family, really envy those who can go out with sisters to shopping and eating or husband and children. Family are so much more dependable. Friends always reject my invitation. Outings or just simple meal and worst still my birthday, there isn't one event that I can have 0% unhappiness. Family is too small and I can't invite them to join me in doing the things I like. Relative are completely rubbish. In the end, I am still left alone in this world with no friends, no relative but just a small family. In future, I must create a big family and teach them how to be harmonious and united.

I guess at this age range is probably my most unhappy moments. There are seriously too much similar setbacks disappointment within this few years. Everytime my Mum kept ask me why are you at home? How come never go out with your friends? All I can't answer her is I invite them but they say they can't make it. She will goes like AGAIN?! ;((((